She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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