Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
