booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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