And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize