honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
