i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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