if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize