i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
