But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
