Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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