Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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