i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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