Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize