i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
