Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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