Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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