Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
