the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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