he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
