I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
