You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
