from now on my penis is your penis
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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