I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
