How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize