oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
