it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
