i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
