Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
