Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
