you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
