I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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