yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
