Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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