What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize