whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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