oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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