The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Success! We fucked roommates!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
