so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
