Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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