well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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