you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
