oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
