Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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