so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
