So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
