so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
