At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
