i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
