He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
