woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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