I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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