My friends, they love my intelligence
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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