Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize