i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
