he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
