i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
