ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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