I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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