we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
