he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
