we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
