I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
