He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
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