of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
pray to the hookup gods
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize