my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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