she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
