after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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