can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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