Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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