I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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